During a solo hike, I had time to ponder a radio program I had just heard. In the program newly sworn-in Americans were interviewed. July fourth prompts reflection on American identity. A woman shared her journey to naturalization and her feelings as a bridge between nations. I can relate to this.
It took me 43 years before I became a naturalized citizen, even though I could have done it after 5 years. I wasn’t ready then. When I read the application questionnaire I had to fill out, I saw questions about prior political affiliations. Lying isn’t in my nature, but I also knew my student years in Amsterdam would raise questions. So I lived in the USA as a Dutch citizen with a green card. The truth was, I couldn’t quite agree with and like the American way. I hung on to my Dutch self image. I liked the way the Dutch behaved, governed, and took care of each other. My loyalties still were with my native country.
What was I doing living in the USA, you may ask? Adventure travel led me around the world with an American partner, whom I married, to enter the USA. In America, I found freedom, breathing space, and endless possibilities without constant scrutiny. The old world versus the new world. It took time, but I became Americanized. Traveling back to my old country, I felt trapped, the small size suffocated me. Despite the egalitarian approach the Dutch have, the endless discussions where everyone’s opinion is considered before decisions are made, made me antsy. The swiftness of change and decision making in America were more appealing.
The woman in the interview also mentioned that she wants to offer her cultural background, her uniqueness and enrich the American culture. A noble thought. Is America really open-minded enough to absorb other cultures? The Americans have shown a genuine interest in my cultural heritage. They’ve put up with my Dutch qualities of straightforwardness, expressing my opinion, and no-frills honesty. Now that I know both sides, I prefer American “niceness” (even if it’s not genuine) over Dutch rudeness.
As I hiked I wondered what I have offered as a foreign born, naturalized American to this country? My sturdy legs carry me up a mountain path, as they carried me up and over a dune as a child. I encourage others to rely on their strengths and find how much more hardship they can tolerate as they hike, more than they thought they could. I’ve inspired others to find their edges. America isn’t a “soft” culture, but Americans do like their comforts, their ease. They’ve worked hard to achieve that by developing industries that offer many new products of comfort. I grew up in a post-WWII struggling economy, on an island where water was a constant threat. To survive I learned to swim - literally and figuratively. I learned to be tough, but I’ve since learned that comfort in moderation is a good thing. Americans have taught me to be easier on myself, more caring for myself and others. Blending cultures then is a good thing.
We live in changing times. Climate disasters, pandemics, global migration cannot be ignored. Americans cannot insulate themselves from these issues. Together, we, American-born and immigrant Americans, must figure out how to handle these issues. I hope America can keep welcoming fresh voices and foreign ideas
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I reached the look-out with a wide view of the mesa and surrounding mountains. I love having the wilderness so close, so accessible. I could never have this in my native country. The wilderness in this country has taught me about freedom, transcendence and belonging. To be honest, I haven’t lost my Dutch-ness. While descending I may have said a few things to other hikers in my straightforward way. I told an older woman to wear a hat in this heat. I told a red-faced, overweight young woman climbing up, about resting to avoid heat exhaustion. I also thanked some people who kept their dogs leashed. If I were more American, I would say “hello” and smile when passing them. Americans don’t impose themselves on others. There you have it. I can’t help my blended self.
Love you. Dami! All of you.
Laurie
One of my best friends is Dutch. Or rather, he is first generation American. I adore him and see in him the description of your Dutchness here. thank the stars for your blended self, for our blended selves, for blending across the globe.
I saw a video recently of a guy going off about how awesome it is that this tiny number of us (as compared to the massive number of humans who have called this traveling ball home and who will) sharing this planet at this moment— like we are each each other’s cohort, and how cool is that. I’m really digging that perspective. Thank you for sharing yours, Dami!